Unsent text message to Emily

You shamed me

You told me how much you loved me but at the same time called me every name under the sun

When you did it, did it make you feel powerful?

Telling me I wasted the best years of my life even though we both know the real living starts after 30…

I’m sorry for every negative feelings I’ve caused you and all the waiting and uncertainty about our future. I loved you and I still do. I miss you a whole lot but what I did to you can not be forgiven. I understand it’s not my place to decide if you forgive me or not but I don’t want to keep dragging you along knowing…

I guess I should take you not responding as the hint. You promised you wouldn’t ghost but that didn’t last that long. I guess you lied and said everything to just make me happy. I should’ve know it was never a see you later but goodbye

But I have to because it’s the only option I have that is right. This isn’t what I wanted but it is how it is and it hurts.

It will be slow but soon I will eventually go and finally leave you alone.

I woke up thinking about you. Still hoping one day I'll wake up to your text. I made a promise to myself to start loving myself again, though. That means letting you go in the fullest possible. I wish nothing but the best for you, really. I hope you find out where you're going. I hope you remember the good times we…

I’ve been thinking about you since I first met you. I’ve never been inlove with anyone else and I realize now it’s because I’ve been inlove with you my entire life. I heard your voice that day and I knew I’ve been searching for you. I knew I’ve been living just to meet you. Just to be with you. Imagine a broken doll…