iMessage
I’m sorry for every negative feelings I’ve caused you and all the waiting and uncertainty about our future. I loved you and I still do. I miss you a whole lot but what I did to you can not be forgiven. I understand it’s not my place to decide if you forgive me or not but I don’t want to keep dragging you along knowing that you could be better off with someone else or fulfilling that dream of yours of moving upstate and starting your dream job. I did and still want to grow old together with you, travel the world , get married, take care of each other on our death bed. I did and part of me wishes I could. But I don’t want you to go through all the emotions of my actions and just keep thinking about what I did to you. I also don’t want to live like I’m walking on eggshells all the time and having you think that I’m sneaking off to see someone else. That part of me is done. I know I can’t change the past, we both can’t. If you ever think about forgiving me, I hope you do it not because you need me but because you truly know that you can start trusting me again and looking pass my actions. I crushed your heart, your soul, your love and your trust… and for that I couldn’t forgive myself. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I miss you everyday, your son J, your dog H, your cat T… I hope nothing but the best for you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through and I’m sorry for picking up the beautiful flower that was you and letting you wilt in my horrible hands… I wish I could see you one more time and hold you for eternity… -A
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