Unsent text message to Samantha

it was selfish of you to call. selfish to think you still had access after the last time i gave you a chance. over ten years and you finally made me hate you. yes i hate you. and i am afraid of any human that can break someone the way you did that day in november topping off all the years of betrayals and (various…

I initially wrote something that featured a part of your body that you built to be there. Something I notice in girls that you didn't use to have. Which was a wonder why I fell for you if you didn't really have it before. But it was technically an objectification and some people might misconstrued.

If you remember, I…

I think someone sent me a lot of good mojo from out of nowhere today, it was new and powerful and given from someone new.

I think I miss you too much today. I don't even know what to do with myself. I’ve mentioned your name so many times today. I even texted you a picture of our restaurant to see if you remembered which table we used to eat at. And then I wanted to tell you that I miss you. But I couldn't. Is saying “I miss you”…

Oh ya … no we are done … you can’t communicate . I’m good. It was our date night and I don’t need someone who can’t communicate little alone when we are long distance …

J,

I know I caused it. I know this feeling is of my own doing. It's been 9 months since we talked. You are still on my mind constantly.

But I still miss you. I still want you.

I hate myself for hurting you. I hope you don't think about me. I hope you don't care anymore. I hope someone is loving you the way you deserve…