Unsent text message to Claire

I initially wrote something that featured a part of your body that you built to be there. Something I notice in girls that you didn't use to have. Which was a wonder why I fell for you if you didn't really have it before. But it was technically an objectification and some people might misconstrued.

If you remember, I…

I think someone sent me a lot of good mojo from out of nowhere today, it was new and powerful and given from someone new.

I think I miss you too much today. I don't even know what to do with myself. I’ve mentioned your name so many times today. I even texted you a picture of our restaurant to see if you remembered which table we used to eat at. And then I wanted to tell you that I miss you. But I couldn't. Is saying “I miss you”…

Oh ya … no we are done … you can’t communicate . I’m good. It was our date night and I don’t need someone who can’t communicate little alone when we are long distance …

J,

I know I caused it. I know this feeling is of my own doing. It's been 9 months since we talked. You are still on my mind constantly.

But I still miss you. I still want you.

I hate myself for hurting you. I hope you don't think about me. I hope you don't care anymore. I hope someone is loving you the way you deserve…

There's no way to tell you this, but the pain still hits me sometimes out of nowhere. You appeared in my dreams fairly recently, but your eyes were reproachful.

It feels like the beginning of a book. There is so much to say, and once again, I have to be clever with my words, at the risk of binding myself to that trap…