Unsent text message to Brian

do you know how hard it is to use an ASL dictionary?

I miss you more with each day that we’ve been apart. I can see you’ve listened to my playlist on spotify and I want you to know that I play it at night time, when I can’t sleep and quietly cry into my pillow. I wish things could be undone. Until then, I’ll keep seeing you in the small things.

Good night my love

Do you remember the first time we kissed? It was the best first kiss I ever had. I know you asked me not to call or text you again, I hope you’re happier now without me

It’s been twenty years. We’ve both moved on, both built completely separate lives, and both raised children of our own. It’s been fifteen years since you stopped by my work on your way home from basic training—you were just passing through my state, but you didn't have to stop. Yet you did. It's was the last time I…

i don't... get it. why are you hanging out with all these young people? it's making you really weird and immature. i don't really like who you became

I don't know if deep down somewhere you have the capacity to realise how much damage you've done to me.

One moment you're a sweet angel to me and then BAM! D day!

It's a very bad day today, I'm struggling with keeping sober and not ******* ******. You've helped me not leave this world so many times. Thank you so much.

But…