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today i went to the park across from one of my childhood homes with my friend and it wasn't my childhood trauma causing tears to well up in my eyes .. it wasn't the memory of satan speaking to me directly in that house.. it wasn't all the people I've lost and gained.. or even the passage of time itself which you know really ***** with me..
it was being there in that moment sitting on the porch and at the playground without you that felt like swallowing a dagger
i didn't want to be back in town without you and now it's been a whole entire year
im still not sober but the drugs dull the pain of facing the consequences that followed my degenerate actions
what's so good about picking up the pieces?
i wish we could use the memory zapper device from men in black and start fresh
i know id fall in love with you again and maybe this time id be a better partner maybe I wouldn't let dope and very temporary relief in the form of self destruction as a twisted coping mechanism- replace the real me's
all 8(?) of them at that
well bo bander i hope you've been sleeping well and dreaming about horses I don't dream anymore but if I did they'd all be you haunting me
were both living breathing ghosts
kiss baby sluggy extra for me tonight and I still love you both so much goodnight kitty boy
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