Unsent text message to Morgan

I wish it wasn’t more trouble than it’s worth. Which is really saying something, you know I appreciate trouble. Especially the doubled, toiled kind… but you just don’t seem to play fair enough to even win. You do want to win, don’t you? Oh well. Your brain will jump through miraculous hoops to make your current…

Are you happy now? I hope you are. If I’ve ever crossed your mind, I hope you know that you cross mine every night before I go to sleep.

I push it out and try not to think about you. I know it’s not a healthy habit but sometimes I rather just try to get you out so I never really have to feel anything…

I don’t want to…

Well. Here we are. Guess I’ll just let this go. Again. I’ve dreamt about you so many times this week. I want to tell you, but you’re the king of aloof. I can’t repeat this pattern, man. I don’t have the heart to tell you that when I go to Chicago I have interviews set up because it literally pains me to see you at…

I often wonder what its like to be you. You expected me to be isolated and always consider your feelings before i did anything . You flirted and laughed and giggled. But when i just spoke to another woman u nearly had a breakdown. How does that work? It doesn't compute for me but i have actual feelings and thoughts…

Is that I miss you too much and I want to hug you again. That I am reflecting on what happened and how I can do better next time if I get a next time. And how I’m working on accepting that there most likely won’t be a next time.

I wanted to tell you that you’re awesome and remind you that you’re handsome.

But I can’t…

im clearly not an expert because it’s been so long and here i am still holding on but

i think im getting better at letting go

im accepting that you simply didn’t feel the same

and i of course don’t blame you, it’s not your fault you don’t feel a certain way towards me…