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Lately, it feels like my world is slowly falling apart. There are days when everything feels heavier than I know how to carry, and I’m so tired of pretending I’m okay. I go through the motions, smile when I’m supposed to, and keep most of what I’m feeling hidden. And then I see you. For a little while, everything feels lighter. I can breathe. I smile without forcing it. Even the smallest moment with you can change the whole feeling of my day. You probably have no idea, but seeing you has become one of the few things that can still bring a little light into my life. Maybe that’s why these feelings scare me so much. Because you’ve become this tiny piece of happiness in a life that feels like it’s coming undone, and you don’t even know you’re holding it. I notice how much I look forward to seeing you. How your absence feels more than it should. How sometimes I’ll be having the worst day, and just knowing I might see you makes it a little easier to get through. I wish you knew how much your presence means to me. But the cruelest part is knowing that you might be the brightest thing in my world, while I’m nothing more than a passing moment in yours. So I keep it to myself. I smile when I see you. I act normal. I pretend there isn’t a whole storm of things I want to say sitting behind every ordinary conversation. And maybe that’s what hurts the most. Because every day I choose silence, the words become harder to hold inside. And lately, my silence has started to feel unbearable. Because you’re the one thing that makes everything feel a little less broken, and I’m terrified that one day I’ll have to learn how to live without you being the light I secretly look for.
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