Unsent text message to Sophia

I wish I had a time machine so I can go back in time and not bring you tacos at work. I could have saved us both a lot of sadness & heartache. But then I remember how much I will always love you. How my soul craves your smell, your touch. I would go back in time just to re live that wonderful feeling of completeness I…

There's a dark humor in it, looking back. She talked about kindness like it was sacred - something to always choose. Lovely on the surface, I thought so. Then she turned out to be one of the the coldest persons I've ever known. Those behaviours aimed at the person who actually showed up - who listened, traveled, cared…

I wish I were braver when I met you. I wish I could have just said how I felt about you. I wish I could have just faced the rejection. Now it’s too late. I fucjed everything up by staying quiet. I never felt this way with anyone before and it scares me. I never moved on and I should have by now logically. This is all…

is so full... thank you for loving me

D, pls stop running in my head. I want you and you know that. I avoided you because I can’t treat you as a friend, I want more. You can’t give me more. So please just let me be

why do you have to continuously approach me and act as if nothing has changed?

D, I love you. I’m sorry

I found out you moved on months later when i am still grieving a year on. She works at the company and stares at me. Then I got the information that put it all into place.

I grieve someone who does not exist. A ghost and a version of what could have been. It was a suckerpunch to my stomach.

She is beautiful. And she…