Unsent text message to Cameron

Darling!!! It took me way too long to only now realize that you're just as batshit crazy as I am.

Is that why you don’t want me anymore? Because I'm the mirror you never wanted to look into and see yourself staring right back?? Is it why you keep hating yourself since you can just never say no to me??? Is this why you…

Everytime I think, today is the day I am just going to tell you how often I think about you, that I want to take you to that dinner you keep joking about. That my heart has pounded so hard everytime we make contact, when I walked in on you with your shirt off 2x in a row, something unnerves me. I don't know how to…

Hope you’re ready for the backlash. You crossed a ******* line.

For abandoning myself so willingly. You checked out 3 months in. I stuck around 3 more years. I’m actually embarrassed even though no ever ‘perceived’ our relationship. How ****** is that.

B,

You bought me peach mentos. I’ve been feeling very neutral towards you and about our situation. Since our mutual friend messaged in our group chat this morning, you’ve been on my mind. I wouldn’t be mad with you breaking the no contact I implemented at this point.

I’m giving myself until those peach mentos run out…

Today is hard. I was thinning my eyebrows when I looked down. I saw myself in the mirror and broke. I know I'm not ugly, but I wish I was beautiful. I know parts of me are.

I love with every part of myself, I'm understanding, I'm honest, I'm kind. I live those things. Im attracted to myself internally but…