Unsent text message to Blake

Remember back in the day, every time we saw a yellow mustang, the driver was insanely hot?

I haven't paid attention to yellow mustangs in many years. But omw home today, I was next to one and thought of you. And yes, the driver was hot af!

You don’t care. You don’t care about being loved. You care about not hurting others.

I think about your smile, your face, your laugh, your kiss. None of it matters to you. I think about you nuzzling in my chest, eyes closed, infinity. You create excuses about living up to some noble cause she invented. It was plain…

I'm finally realizing I miss you because it was a reality check of what I'll never have. It's as though life has been screaming to change my goals and dreams. Fatherhood, creating a family, and sharing my love with an individual is not in my cards. I'll never have those things and thats okay. Not every man is meant to…

I am not a patient person. But I wait for you.

I am stubborn. But I let go of my wants for you.

I do not love many people. But I love you.

I am empathetic af. But I cant understand you rn…

We haven’t been together in almost 2 years now and yet here I am wondering what went wrong. I thought about texting u a bit ago, just to say I made it. You always said I wouldn’t make it in the army, well guess what mf. I made it and I’m thriving now. I’m happier now than I ever was when we were together. But why do I…

They're tears of grief. I cant seem to shake this. I am begining to understand where it comes from. It doesnt change the fact the the tears have fallen. Ugh