Unsent text message to Jessica

You don’t care. You don’t care about being loved. You care about not hurting others.

I think about your smile, your face, your laugh, your kiss. None of it matters to you. I think about you nuzzling in my chest, eyes closed, infinity. You create excuses about living up to some noble cause she invented. It was plain…

I'm finally realizing I miss you because it was a reality check of what I'll never have. It's as though life has been screaming to change my goals and dreams. Fatherhood, creating a family, and sharing my love with an individual is not in my cards. I'll never have those things and thats okay. Not every man is meant to…

I am not a patient person. But I wait for you.

I am stubborn. But I let go of my wants for you.

I do not love many people. But I love you.

I am empathetic af. But I cant understand you rn…

We haven’t been together in almost 2 years now and yet here I am wondering what went wrong. I thought about texting u a bit ago, just to say I made it. You always said I wouldn’t make it in the army, well guess what mf. I made it and I’m thriving now. I’m happier now than I ever was when we were together. But why do I…

They're tears of grief. I cant seem to shake this. I am begining to understand where it comes from. It doesnt change the fact the the tears have fallen. Ugh

I was scared at the beginning of us. But we were friends and we just clicked. Everything fell together with us as if it was always meant to. It seemed too good to be true but everything looked like this time would truly be different. I had never believed I deserved something as good as this.

And over the course of our…