Unsent text message to Ava

Moving out is so hard. I wish I didn’t have to do this. You’re not even here, and I keep wishing I could turn to you and tell you how much it hurts.

I wish you hadn’t hurt me. I wish we could have kept living our life together. There were so many ordinary days I still wanted with you. I thought we’d have more time.

I sti…

Since you broke up with me twice and abandoned me during my worst when all I had planned was a trip for both of us together to mark our 2.5 years abroad in my home. You let someone else destroy our relationship without proof, and for that I'll always resent how it took you to break me, to build you back up.

I know you…

I don’t know why I still think about you. Maybe it’s the way you carried yourself like the weight of the world belonged on your shoulders. Maybe it’s because beneath all that toughness, I always suspected there was something softer hiding underneath. You were never subtle. Everything about you was loud, your presence…

I told you on instagram even though I’m blocked (I can see when you unblock me btw), that I wouldn’t send anymore text to you there. I miss you, it’s been rough recently but I’m doing better mentally. (Deflection yes) Either way the company we worked for fired me, some weird excuse. We worked at different stores but…

When I asked if you heard me, I asked you not to check the ring camera because now your brother and mother will know lol. When I texted you “lofa atu” in my language I meant it even more. You replied the same back to me and I hope you know I really do love you. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. Thank you. I…

I want to see you

T