Unsent text message to Steven

I don’t know how to “break up normally”. I wish you knew how sad I am. How I miss you. How it’s not all bad in my head. How I’m processing and crying all the time. I don’t know how to move through this with you. I wish you could see how you made me feel invisible sometimes. Or how undervalued I felt. And how I did try…

Im just ******. ****** that you can’t see these scenarios the way I needed you to see them. ****** at the unfair things that you did to me and refused to fully accept.

At the same time, I can also see your good qualities. You’re not all bad lol ofc not and that’s why I stayed for so long. Cus I loved so much of you.

At t…

I guess I'm just down. I guess I'll be honest. I could use you around. I can't stand the distance between us right now. I guess I'll be honest. I could use you around.

She baits her breath with hurtful threats and hopes that I receive

To stoke my fears and draw me near and prays I’ll never leave

It’s just for fun They’re not the one It’s you and only you

She’ll tell me this and She’ll tell me that But she never tells the truth…

I wish it wasn’t more trouble than it’s worth. Which is really saying something, you know I appreciate trouble. Especially the doubled, toiled kind… but you just don’t seem to play fair enough to even win. You do want to win, don’t you? Oh well. Your brain will jump through miraculous hoops to make your current…

I always check just in case…