Unsent text message to Ashley

One year, and I’ve missed you for half of it.

I got approved for a house today, and I couldn’t even call you to tell you about it. Instead, I sat in my office and cried for a few minutes, then carried on about my day like normal.

This hasn’t gotten easier, but I’m learning to live without you. Even if it feels like it’s…

hey you. life’s going okay since we cut contacts july 30th. almost been 3 whole months without talking to you. it still feels weird, i still look for you everywhere. i still love you. i haven’t moved on, i don’t think i ever will. i’ve been able to look at pictures and memories without breaking down, ive “locked in”…

I guess no answer, is some kind of an answer

The last time we spoke, you made this very clear. That's ok. I accept that you see me as a "bad" individual. I accept that my influence on your life wasn't good. I am sorry for the effects, both long and short term, that our relationship may have had/still has on you. I know you're too tough to linger there for long.

I…

You clearly don't want me anymore, perhaps never did. You haven't answered my texts in two years or talked to me since.

You have a boyfriend now. You've moved on. I don't want to think about this anymore. All it does is make me sad and regretful that this is all it was lead to. These past few years have been very…

It's eating at me, I lied to you, twice. When you asked what I was doing and I said I was helping a friend clean their house? I was at home playing Phasmaphobia (I cleansed the house to stop a hunt, creative embellishments). It was also not true when I said I was babysitting. Technically, half true, I was keeping an…