Unsent text message to Lucas

You want to run around and say im on meth because I believe whatever stupid thing was said on here? You know, because it was said on here? You do that..

You want the truth?

Ive offered to have a conversation with you multiple times.

Youre clueless…

Because I know I’m the only one who really knows who you are. And I hold that very dear. Whether we are talking or not.

but you have to be honest with yourself and know that they have no intention of being honest or objective and they only want to take what you give them, but never give anything back and in the relationships I’m seeking now that’s not anything I want to be a part of, it’s not a relationship. It’s a leach. I want…

I think the universe is trying to torture me with you . Because I’ve tried so hard to ignore you to forget you . And you probably want nothing to do with me and that’s okay . But **** it was fine one min and then like you hated me . And I don’t understand why … and I dislike that I can’t get you out of my mind .

“I miss you. I wish things were different. I don’t know what to do with all this love now.”

I hope every single day that today will be the day. That today my phone will finally ring, or my messenger will finally ding, or you'll finally show up at my door. Yet, it never does and it never will. It's depressing knowing that a single person has that much control over my emotional state. Even more so when I…