Unsent text message to Melissa

J I miss you so much right now Years have passed and I still wonder about you every single day and surprisingly I don’t think about you the way you would expect even though I do miss being intimate with you I think back more on how you’re doing in your life I’ve been struggling J and you were the one person I ever…

alot

I have nothing else to say

Here i am attending a wedding tomorrow without you and yeah I know the wedding im attending wasn't your favorite person but damm E. we could've figured it out and been happy together. Im not a fool to think you wouldn't have made it awkward and a mild pain but it would be worth it with you.

N.

I've been thinking a lot about you and everything that's happened. I don't know what to think...

I really love you so much, but sometimes I just don't understand you anymore. You tell me one thing, promise you'll try to be different, and the next day you do the same thing.

You make me feel so strange. Sometimes I feel…

Alright, I did my part. I reached out first. Again. No need to respond if you don't want to. I'll just know to dismantle the bridge on my way out for both of us. Goodnight and sleep well.

And I carry all of the trauma, my mind and body repressing it every day

I wait for the day

That it finally bursts out

😔