Unsent text message to Richard

Whatever’s wrong with my brain means i have an attention span of a fish. Think of something to tell you what you mean to me And before i get to my phone, I’ve forgotten. I’m just glad that I’ve got you in my permanent memory and you’re the one I want to be with in the moment.

i don’t want to lose you permanently. but it’s always been me coming back to you. i need it to be you this time. i need to know you need me too.

Many times,I think how my friends enjoy and feel safe in their home,rather when someone ask me about this,I don't hesitate at all but 'enjoy' is still a question for me.I couldn't remember when we laughed together.We could spend very rare time with each other and that's is memorable but a lil upsetting too.Like when…

I can never tell. I imagine you’re in the same boat. We’re a little too similar in some ways, we walk this same path. But I don’t mind because when we come together, we get to talk about the things that everyone else thinks we’re crazy for…but you get me. You understand my memories.

I’m not gonna force anything. I’m…

Hey, hun

It's one of those nights where I struggle with falling asleep but responsibilities will somehow push me to wake up and face the day in a few hours.

The previous night's sleep wasn't great either.

I'm exhausted. My hands are shaky, my eyes sore. I can feel my heart drop on random moments but I have to push…

deep in there, there's a seed... the gardener won't plant it, for it's too precious to let grow into the beauty of what it can be... seeds can live as they are, but plants will die without care... the gardener fears losing the seed to moments of beauty-- what if he can't fully tend to what grows? but that little seed…