Unsent text message to Matthew

I’ve been trying to push this away.

I’m sure my feelings are because we are in close proximity or because my breakup hurt 6 months ago but I’m falling for someone I shouldn’t.

You’re just my coteacher; a girl. Hell I hated you when we met I was really just jealous everyone loved you and you were better at my job than I…

Whatever’s wrong with my brain means i have an attention span of a fish. Think of something to tell you what you mean to me And before i get to my phone, I’ve forgotten. I’m just glad that I’ve got you in my permanent memory and you’re the one I want to be with in the moment.

i don’t want to lose you permanently. but it’s always been me coming back to you. i need it to be you this time. i need to know you need me too.

Many times,I think how my friends enjoy and feel safe in their home,rather when someone ask me about this,I don't hesitate at all but 'enjoy' is still a question for me.I couldn't remember when we laughed together.We could spend very rare time with each other and that's is memorable but a lil upsetting too.Like when…

I can never tell. I imagine you’re in the same boat. We’re a little too similar in some ways, we walk this same path. But I don’t mind because when we come together, we get to talk about the things that everyone else thinks we’re crazy for…but you get me. You understand my memories.

I’m not gonna force anything. I’m…

Hey, hun

It's one of those nights where I struggle with falling asleep but responsibilities will somehow push me to wake up and face the day in a few hours.

The previous night's sleep wasn't great either.

I'm exhausted. My hands are shaky, my eyes sore. I can feel my heart drop on random moments but I have to push…