Unsent text message to Jesse

Well im watching someone go through some withdrawals from the same stuff you used to do or maybe still do idk because we dont talk anymore but i wonder how much of what our problems were really you just coming down and didn't want to tell me for some reason i would have probably reacted differently if you would've…

I still don’t know if you’ll ever see this. If you still check. I just hope you’re safe. I know in how much pain you are. Pain, I’ve caused you. All those months, hell, a year of suffering, because of my cowardice and selfishness. I really hope you’re reaching out to someone. I know I can’t be that person any more…

that you gave me an opportunity to prove you wrong. I wish that you knew how to be more empathetic. I wish you could understand what real love feels like. I wish you didn’t run from your emotions. I wish you kissed me first. I wish that I could go back to the day we met. I wish I could know your truth. I wish you left…

I want out of your game.

I want to stop having to be the one to strike conversation in order to have one.. if I dont you dont bother at all.

You couldnt care enough to even consider how I feel.

The things you put me through.. wanting me to act as if nothing ever happened. Keeping me low to keep the benefits while you go…

I still wish I never left

I remember the beginning days you’d tell me every bit of detail and you were so curious about me. I didn’t care about it at all. I found it annoying but as I kept talking I realised you really wanted to know me. Maybe. But after we met for the first time. I was shy. You were shy. I don’t know what changed between us…