Unsent text message to Jennifer

I still don’t know if you’ll ever see this. If you still check. I just hope you’re safe. I know in how much pain you are. Pain, I’ve caused you. All those months, hell, a year of suffering, because of my cowardice and selfishness. I really hope you’re reaching out to someone. I know I can’t be that person any more…

that you gave me an opportunity to prove you wrong. I wish that you knew how to be more empathetic. I wish you could understand what real love feels like. I wish you didn’t run from your emotions. I wish you kissed me first. I wish that I could go back to the day we met. I wish I could know your truth. I wish you left…

I want out of your game.

I want to stop having to be the one to strike conversation in order to have one.. if I dont you dont bother at all.

You couldnt care enough to even consider how I feel.

The things you put me through.. wanting me to act as if nothing ever happened. Keeping me low to keep the benefits while you go…

I still wish I never left

I remember the beginning days you’d tell me every bit of detail and you were so curious about me. I didn’t care about it at all. I found it annoying but as I kept talking I realised you really wanted to know me. Maybe. But after we met for the first time. I was shy. You were shy. I don’t know what changed between us…

Still feel used, I guess anything is better than being with me. You never explained why you watch me? Is it to watch me burn myself over you?