Unsent text message to Andrew

I don't mean that I'm going to sit here and put my life on hold. I don't mean I'm going to keep reaching out, trying to persuade you, or waiting for some imaginary date when you'll suddenly be ready.

I'm living. I'm working. I'm making friends. I'm swimming and cycling and singing and laughing and building a life that…

I feel silly that I allowed myself to start catching feelings for you. Which makes what happened yesterday feel so unsettling.

I'm not insecure, I don't need you to tell me how pretty I am or to build me up. I am a fully formed human, I know I'm pretty, I know I'm an amazing catch. But for you to tell me I was being…

they always think i'm going to be mad when i find out they lied but i almost never am

I know it’s been about.. two months of not talking. I still miss you. I still wish things didn’t have to end but… they did. I’m not betting on it but if we could make things work I’d like to focus on that in a heartbeat. But then I’d.. really have to ask what changed. On my end I’ve found new hobbies, gained my…

My family held me and cried with me when I finally told them what you did to me. I let them see how much I was hurting. I needed them, and they were there. For a little while, I didn’t have to carry it all alone.

Why can you just tell me what you want?

I’m so tired of these games and mazes. I ******* am.

I told you so many ******* times I don’t get it. I’m dense. I can’t decode it. If you just told me there was a video at a specific time tonight I would have joined.

Is this always going to be our relationship? Codes and fake…