Unsent text message to Blake

Tbh, the look on your face hurt far worse than anything you said to each other and I heard a lot.

You looked content, you were actually paying attention and listening. You were calm and receptive, most importantly I could tell that you were being honest.

I never once saw that look when we spoke, you were absent and…

You were stationed in a country halfway across the world. We were just barely 19. You left and I was the one left to pick up the pieces of you no longer living with me and my family. I had to pack up your clothes, your childhood memories you grabbed from your parents before leaving. Your car sat in my driveway for a…

a wave of joy came over me. You hadn’t seen me yet too so I had a moment to calm myself but as you already know, the moment we were in front of each other you felt like home, I thought I might actually finally be home.

This had never happened before, you made me feel new things, you made me feel happy, you made my life…

It’s literally the most precious thing I’ve ever heard. It just sounds like a melody the intonation, the pitch, everything about it. It’s so funny that you can sound like an angel while simultaneously being Lucifer’s baby. 😂 I miss you.

So we’re out at the same place and you can’t be bothered to so much as say hello to me - why tf text me after? Gross. The combination of avoidance and ego, I’ve had it with. You’re the worst kind of liar because you can’t even be honest with yourself. Either leave me alone or be a ******* man and say something real.

I got blackout drunk the night you told me. I said I would never do that. I know you don’t want me to do that still but it’s finally my life now. I ******* loved it. Loved every second. You were scared, you’ve seen it ruin people and didn’t want that to happen to me. I smoked some weed too. It’s been three weeks but…