Unsent text message to Derek

If there is ever any reconciliation, communication, or anything between us again, it has to come from you. Because as far as I'm concerned, you will NEVER hear from me again. You know where I live, where I work, you have every possible way to contact me, for ****'s sake, you still work with my dad. If you ever truly…

People often ask me how I know it’s her.

Truthfully, I didn’t always know.

At first, I couldn’t explain why my heart held onto that certainty when everything around me seemed to tell me to let go. But then her absence brought me closer to God. In the silence she left behind, I found myself reaching for Him in ways I…

Over ten years ago, you looked at me with pure hatred and said the words that broke me for good.

"If you loved me better, you would have noticed I was using again."

I couldn't stay after that.

I couldn't keep watching you choose everything else but me…

Didn’t say it today, but I usually do. It would have been a stupid response to how you greeted me this morning, and I was legit startled. Glad you laughed when I gasped and said “****. Holy ******* ****.” So glad you laughed! Tbh it is the highlight of my day when you look right at me, and you smile. Man you are so…

I’m a man on a mission,

with nothing left to lose,

I take every beautiful thing

and find a way to bruise…

If you knew why I avoid your eyes, would you still keep looking at me? If you knew I notice you before I even realise I’m looking, would you find that strange? If you knew how much your attention can change my entire day, would you still give it to me so easily? If you knew how often I replay your words after you’ve…