Unsent text message to Megan

Lately, it feels like my world is slowly falling apart. There are days when everything feels heavier than I know how to carry, and I’m so tired of pretending I’m okay. I go through the motions, smile when I’m supposed to, and keep most of what I’m feeling hidden. And then I see you. For a little while, everything…

I was with you when you heard the initial news, and I was so ready to walk this journey beside you, to support and encourage you through every difficult day. Even though our paths shifted, I still care.

I know you are getting ready to have tests done and find out where things stand. Being a caretaker is in my nature…

When we first broke up, I tried to fix things. I know it was too late but I gave it a shot. Then I stopped because it never would have worked. You were too far gone. So I gave the space you so desperately needed. That hurt but I knew it was for the best. I kept the door open though.

After one month passed, I thought…

I don't want to listen to Mitski tonight…

You seem to have matured all in one go, and seem to have filed away the entirety of our history. Why am I still here, then, remembering it? Re-living it? It’s just empty walls now. I’m still here because of the silent hope that you will come back. So, I better be going. I’m going to close the door to that room behind…

it’s almost been three months since you decided you didn’t want to be with me anymore. you told me you still loved me, but that you believed it wasn’t the best thing for either of us. i know your parents had a lot of influence on that decision, and for a long time i was angry and confused about it. now, i understand…