Unsent text message to Eli

have a wonderful day.

I love you and miss you.

How much of this has just been me? Maybe I deluded myself, what if I am not what you need? Not willing enough to concede, or my mind isn't quite enough freed. There's some tension on the sea, will it uproot the tree?... Was it something that passed by, as if I'd sat in the right lane, as if you went by in the left…

Why aren’t you here taking care of this?

I can’t wait to see you later. I’m so nervous. I’m so ridiculous. I hope we have a great time… fun, laughter and a huge warm hug that lasts for like ten minutes.

or if you even cared. but you didn’t. and your text back to me said so. i was hoping that you would fight. fight for me. fight for this. but you didn’t.

I catch myself checking my phone for a message that isn’t ever coming.

I was so happy to have you back in my life and hopefully vice versa. But the way you just let it…

How you already moved on. It’s been not even a week. You never posted me. You blocked me and posted her. You never complimented me, but I’m sure you compliment her. Was i just convenient like everyone said? Was i really just that easy? How could something so real be so fake? All these rhetorical questions run through…