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I'll find myself a quiet place. I need four walls and a TV set. To keep me safe when life comes around. I'm ******* brain cells one at a time. In my house and no one comes around. I swear I never feel this down. I get high and forget everything. Tell my friends I'm getting closer to God. That ****** knows I try so hard. Things get better all the time.
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It's been so long. I know I've changed a lot, and I’m sure you have too. I sometimes wonder what a conversation between us would look like now. Would we still want each other.
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I used to just care about physical compatibility. Because this wasn’t for romance. But after you, it feels like everyone else is just a fraud. They don’t understand me the way you do. You would just look into my eyes and know what I am thinking or feeling.
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Do you even miss me? I hate this so much.
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I love you, but I don’t want to wait years to get engaged, then another two years to get married, and then another year to start trying for kids. If you’re talking about possibly proposing in five years, that could easily turn into eight years before we even start a family. That’s almost a decade, and I don’t want to…
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I have so many questions that I know I’ll probably never get answers to.
Did you ever actually love me? Or was all of it just an act to you?
How did you change so drastically? How did someone who once made me feel so wanted become someone I can’t even reach anymore? And why do I still miss you when I’m so angry at you?
I…
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I feel like everything has truly crumbled apart for me. I really tried to do my best. In everything. My best is never and will never be truly good enough. The process isn’t even fun. I feel so ******* tired crawling through life. It’s hard. The payoff is next to none. I have nothing to look forward to, and I’ve tried…
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