Unsent Text Messages - Page 34

remember, in whatever story i tell you on Tuesday... you are Leo. got it? i'm sure you'd pick up on it quickly, but why not start with a little foreplay.

With Love.

But i just get anxious about messaging, especially when its been a little while.

its your bday soon tho, and i wanna ask if you've got plans for it. not bc i wanna be invited - i totally understand if you've got plans w other people. i just remember you saying you want your own bday this year. id like to know that it's…

it’s Sunday afternoon. if you don’t feel like cuddling I get it. no worries. I’ll just close my eyes.

Assuredly, he does know.  And he has known for longer than you are aware.   It took bit of time and a whole lot of patience, but eventually each of you in your own way has tipped your hand.  The important ones are known as well as confirmed and those that are not are unimportant at this stage.  For now.

Some accidentall…

I still love you. I probably will for a while. But loving you doesn’t mean I have to come back. I had to let you go, even though I didn’t want to. I hope you’re happy. I hope you achieve everything you ever wanted. And if our paths are meant to cross again someday, they will. Until then, I have to learn how to live…

I don't knkw how we got to this point .it breaks my heart to look back at our old texts and d.m.'s and read how hopeful we were fkr the future yours , mine , ours ! I k kw you loved me . I k kw you still do .and I knkw you know I love you too ,.....still .. where did we go wrong? Were you keeping hope alive for Mv2…

I do despise you now. This whole experience has been a nightmare. Words have been wasted on such a nothing person.

May a vile friend like you never find me again.

I wonder what you’re up to

I hope you’re happy

I hope you know I forgave you a long time ago

I hope you know I still care about you…

How your decisions can lead us both to a lifetime of loneliness in the longing place while we both continue to suppress each others’ existence, as we move about in worlds and houses where we remind ourselves of our blessings…

I read your words. The past year has been so dark for me. I’m sorry if it’s hard for you too…

Knock me down Drown me out I don’t know what I’m sorry about Change your mind You won’t change mine I’m not giving up this time

I've been thinking about everything a lot lately.

It's strange looking back and comparing it to where I am now. I think I've slowly picked up the shattered pieces and glued them back together. It doesn't look the same- most of the pieces are still there, but some had to be let go. The arrangement and colours are…

Hey L,

Do you ever think about me? Or is the life you're living now what you want it to be?

Does he bring you joy? The man who apparently hurt you, did nothing for you, and destroyed the person you used to be?

Or was that all lies too? Was anything you, or your family told me ever true…

For much of our relationship we were unhappy. Seriously please be happy I hope you have no more excuses and no more blame with your new partner I hope you are so incredibly happy because believe it or not I always wanted that for you. I hope you actually do everything you said I stopped you from. I hope you get all of…

remember when you asked me what you can do to help me handle your times where you need isolation? remember my response, where i said needing alone time is healthy normal and perfectly acceptable to me? emotional abandonment isn’t, especially when you are dealing with someone with BPD. and do you remember that we…

Would our diagnosis trauma-bond us and crash our spirits, or would we end up being good peer support to each other?

I just wanna hold you, hug you, make love and take care of you.

I am afraid of hurting your fragile soul and vise versa, and I am really starting to fall in love with everything you are and everything I…

you converted me and ruined me 🥵

Please stop using her as a distraction and focus on yourself like we promised. I know if we both keep growing we can still go see all the parks and birds together. Just come home when you’re ready please.

i woke up this morning dreading the idea of moving away and not being able to sit next to you. and look at you. and just exist with you.

i hate that i'm basing my decision to leave off your decision. i hate that there's an alternate reality where i would try to stay for you. all of this is too heavy for me right now.

i'm…

And just because I forgot to block that one account doesn't mean I'm going to respond. I thought our friendship meant something. But you don't just go radio silent for an entire month out of the blue. For no reason other than wanting to do other things. I should have seen the signs. How you only put in effort when you…

You always let the moment slip by.

Whenever I felt passion and excitement. You would say “well let’s wait”. Not explicitly, but you would let it pass.

Talking about it and talking about it and more talking. Until its not exciting anymore.

When the excitement is there, you have to move on it. Now. Not tomorrow or next…

I understand your nature now. Maybe it was bc we were best friends since childhood but over the last almost two years it’s like a blindfold Is off my eyes. I don’t think of you as a bad person just a damaged one. I wish you hadn’t tried to change me so much and criticized me so harshly. I wish I could’ve helped you. I…

But I still care deeply about you. A big part of me still hopes you’ll get around and willing to work things out with me. I miss you so much. I miss when you show that you care through actions. Now it’s all just words. And you’re distant. And it’s ******* me. I cry every day. My heart feels so heavy. I want to let go…

I feel so stupid for still wanting you when you’ve so obviously moved on.

Not a bad kind of weird, but good kind of weird. When you say something that sounds almost like you’re in love with me it makes my heart sink, I feel shy when you call me pet names, I know we’re friends, but I wonder how you name this

I get it. I really do. I still hate it—you did exactly what I said you would.

I don’t regret anything. This was fun and I love you.

I’m not mad, but I will miss you.

Think of me time to time.

I haven't stopped being mad. But to quote my favorite terrible cheesy rom com chick flick, you can be mad at a person and still miss them. My loneliness has outweighed my anger. So on the off chance you at any point gain the courage to say something to my face... instead of about me behind my back while lurking on my…

Yet I want to settle back into it. I want to make your problems my business again and I want to ease your troubled body.

I wanted to ask you what was wrong the other night, you seemed so upset. Do you still not want to share what was on your mind that made you upset? I don’t want to pry or bother you with it all but it…

The first time I’ve cooked myself breakfast in a long time, my whole block loses power..

Well across to the hospital I go

You had a voice that could charm cobras out of their pots. *🐍🏺*👳‍♂️🪈It was beautiful and I really do miss you. I also pray you’re happy and well, even though I know we won’t speak again . I’m sorry I hurt you and I love you so much. Please know you made a difference!

nothing crazy honestly

i'd like to wake up next to you while the house is still quiet, neither of us fully awake and probably arguing over who has to get up first lol

make breakfast together, then hear the kids start running around

i'd teach them random **** i know and let them help me cook even though that would…

You’re trying to push me away

But I’m still here

I always have been

I’m gonna get off here a little bit, ok…

Am I just your rebound? Someone you chose because I was convenient, because I was there when you needed someone to fill the space someone else left behind?

I’m not bothered by the intensity

I feel mine is matched

Seriously

You just express it better than I can…

I told u to block me because I knew I would still keep messaging or reaching out to you. I know u don’t want this or me but kind enough to keep responding to me. I need to leave you be, I’m clearly not healthy or open enough for us to ever be something.

I struggle to be vulnerable and open in real time and it’s just…

I told u to block me because I knew I would still keep messaging or reaching out to you. I know u don’t want this or me but kind enough to keep responding to me. I need to leave you be, I’m clearly not healthy or open enough for us to ever be something.

I struggle to be vulnerable and open in real time and it’s just…

k.w

i’m sick of the messages. I’m sick of. It’s been 17 years. Just just stop. If I was good enough back then you would’ve been better. You would’ve treated me like an equal or at least a human human being. This is not what happened.

So you can say you’re hung up on me all you want, but that’s not the truth. You kept…

I’m still here

I still want you.

Still want us together

Can’t get over you…

No matter how it hurts

I can take it

I’m a big girl

I can handle it…

Dear one, I waited until 3am for you to come over. I go to sleep early so this was a challenge. I thought you were coming over after work to spend the night.

Somehow I misunderstood the texts, you were asking but you never confirmed. I take things too literally sometimes, my brain doesn't always see intentions vs…

Yes you haven’t you done enough, it’s bad so bad that we go about our days like we don’t know what’s going on. I loved you and you abused me that’s it that’s all we have.