Unsent Text Messages - Page 56

Hey how have you been? I noticed you have been viewing all of my stories. Wanna grab a coffee or drinks. It would be good to catch up. You look really good.

I’m ready for my heart to catch up with my brain. I’m ready for the day that I don’t miss you anymore.

I guess there’s no one to blame…

it was selfish of you to call. selfish to think you still had access after the last time i gave you a chance. over ten years and you finally made me hate you. yes i hate you. and i am afraid of any human that can break someone the way you did that day in november topping off all the years of betrayals and (various…

I initially wrote something that featured a part of your body that you built to be there. Something I notice in girls that you didn't use to have. Which was a wonder why I fell for you if you didn't really have it before. But it was technically an objectification and some people might misconstrued.

If you remember, I…

I think someone sent me a lot of good mojo from out of nowhere today, it was new and powerful and given from someone new.

I think I miss you too much today. I don't even know what to do with myself. I’ve mentioned your name so many times today. I even texted you a picture of our restaurant to see if you remembered which table we used to eat at. And then I wanted to tell you that I miss you. But I couldn't. Is saying “I miss you”…

Oh ya … no we are done … you can’t communicate . I’m good. It was our date night and I don’t need someone who can’t communicate little alone when we are long distance …

J,

I know I caused it. I know this feeling is of my own doing. It's been 9 months since we talked. You are still on my mind constantly.

But I still miss you. I still want you.

I hate myself for hurting you. I hope you don't think about me. I hope you don't care anymore. I hope someone is loving you the way you deserve…

There's no way to tell you this, but the pain still hits me sometimes out of nowhere. You appeared in my dreams fairly recently, but your eyes were reproachful.

It feels like the beginning of a book. There is so much to say, and once again, I have to be clever with my words, at the risk of binding myself to that trap…

Dude is a ******* pathetic loser who should stop being a whiny ***** about people using him. People wouldnt "use him" if he had any substance of a personality. After a ******* week I care more about "the fleabag" than I ever have or will about him. He complains about ****, but doesnt do anything to fix his lack of a…

Ugh. Im better at it now. And, I think I'm going to do it mostly alone this time. Just work, the gym, school, and most of all recovery. No more getting my heart broken by broken people. Just growth, grieving and God. And it's totally all good good. Everything will be okay. We will be okay. I'm sorry we can't find love…

You told that to me. Why do I still love you after all these years.

I don't care if it’s stupid. I love you and I’m always happy to hear from you. I don’t care if you’re just ******* with me. I like holding your hand and cuddling with you.

If I could tell you how much you meant to me, I would. You were everything to me and more. I can’t lie and say I’ve moved on because I really don’t think I have. I try to tell myself everyday that I am so much better off without you, but you truly did make me want to be a better person. I haven’t wanted to change…

You are my everything and you took a piece of my heart when you broke up with me not by choice but it’s now yours.

I hope you feel the weight of my love that you have to carry now, I’ve tried to get that piece back… with time… with deliberate work… I’ve tried to make my heart whole again but that piece of my heart now…

I know we are no contact and I feel like **** about breaking it but I have on multiple occasions told you not to like anything that I could see because it makes me feel like **** and yet you keep on doing this. You keep doing this knowing it makes me feel worse and it makes me so incredibly mad at you because I can…

You used me as a replacement for the girl you really wanted. We look just alike. Have similar interests. You promised me friendship, then u "caught feelings," then we were dating. I was so happy. The happiest I had ever been until your gf called me. Five years together, sure trumps our years and a half....

U NEVER…

decided to stay one more night in ia

feels weird being 30 min away from you

all these emotions are flooding back

An Apology to a Movie Maniac

Dear A\*\*\*n,

I understand this letter is likely not welcomed. You don’t have to respond or even read it, and you’ll be entirely justified if you don’t. But if you are still reading this far, I want to say from the bottom of my heart…

I am sorry. I am sorry for transgressing into hateful and…

I'm drowsy, but not weary. There's an important difference to be had... I'm not the sort of tired I get when I can feel the cracks in my soul, the life being extracted from my bones, blood oozing from the bullet holes... I know where the time went, and I am more than content, with it. You're worth the seconds spent…

I wish I could tell you how much last night meant to me.

Somehow, in the middle of everything, it felt like we found our way back to each other, but not back to what we were. Something different. Something softer. Something that feels like maybe we're finally getting the chance to start again, without carrying…

Today i wanted to message you and tell you about a discovery i found about our favorite band.

Yesterday i wanted to give you the update on your brother.

Why did you have to make things complicated by your own demise? We could have still been friends if you didnt cross that boundary.

You'll never be his. He's everyones. In multiple cities and states. Get tested often. Please. AtM in AZ he has multiple women, kids, lives, if you're military stay the **** away.

if I sent you a question about the games today?

I remember when we first met and you talked about yourself as if you were chronically single (just like I talk about myself today). You said: "I've been single for 7 years, and I'm completely fine with it." Yeah, I know you're strong and don't need anyone, but I wanted so badly for you to make space for me in your…

I think this whole thing is dumb.

I think if you really didn’t want to lose me again, you’d act like it.

I think you must be out of your skull to think that I would stick around while you decide if you’re ready to make life changes.

Love demands change. Requires it…

They tell me every pleasure comes with pain,

Every little sunshine brings a little rain.

If I chase the rush, I'm playing with the flame,

If I love the feeling, somebody says it's shame…

There's no way to tell you this, but the pain still hits me sometimes out of nowhere. You appeared in my dreams fairly recently, but your eyes were reproachful.

It feels like the beginning of a book. There is so much to say, and once again, I have to be clever with my words, at the risk of binding myself to that trap…

It would have been a lot easier to move on had the relationship been toxic. But it wasn't. It was everything we had been looking for. You made me feel seen and safe, made me feel loved. You told me the same. I deserved better than the excuses you gave. We promised each other no matter what. You were saying things were…

I think we could do it. We don't need to fix everything, we can just relax and enjoy each other and not be so afraid. We can talk it through, all we need is communication, everything else is amazing. You don't need to be perfect, I'm not perfect, but we were perfect as a team.

I want to make popcorn with our popcorn…

It’s funny, I actually passed you on the road earlier This one cardi b song was playing, you most likely didn’t know I liked that kind of music, but the lyrics were saying “you’s a ***** from birth, you just grew a third leg” Ngl it was perfect timing because that’s how I really felt You’re a grown *** man but can’t…

I woke up today and I feel like I see clearly now.

It has been exactly 15 months - living in this event horizon...this strange cosmic pull towards you. Consuming me rather than feeding me.

I am just not interested in this anymore. I still love you as a person, as a friend, and I even hope we still stay in contact and…

Today you sat and spent lots of time typing on your phone, it’s never out of your hand these days, yet here I am, in the room and you barely speak. So much time as friend, lover and confidant and yet your words and attention lie in a digital world. I feel we have lots to say, words to exchange but you’re down the…

To give me a compliment every once in a while?

I was so shocked when you followed me (again) the other day kinda thrilled on a strange way, to think that you still think about me, and I still think about you, but I just can’t follow you back to end up at square one again, and seeing as you didn’t reply to my last message I guess there’s nothing left to say

In a month it will be two years since I first met you. I have spent more time missing you than knowing you. Things ended so soon. I have walked around with so much heartache since then . There are days I feel like this is a thing of the past and then my emotions take a dip again. I know they say you romanticize things…

I could act as though I love you, but I know I never will.

So whatever this is, is better left as whatever it isn't 🖤

And then she said she couldn't trust me. And wasnt going to explain herself. Guess she wasn't that into me.

Last night I finally cried about our relationship again. Not the angry, frustrated, scared cry but the sad cry.

I don’t feel mad anymore, finally. I can’t believe it’s been 225 days already. It still feels like yesterday when I left, when I said bye to our kitties, bye to our home. I miss our home. I miss baking…