Unsent Text Messages - Page 55

I woke up thinking about you. Still hoping one day I'll wake up to your text. I made a promise to myself to start loving myself again, though. That means letting you go in the fullest possible. I wish nothing but the best for you, really. I hope you find out where you're going. I hope you remember the good times we…

I’ve been thinking about you since I first met you. I’ve never been inlove with anyone else and I realize now it’s because I’ve been inlove with you my entire life. I heard your voice that day and I knew I’ve been searching for you. I knew I’ve been living just to meet you. Just to be with you. Imagine a broken doll…

Sometimes I look at you and just feel sad. Not because I’m sad about us now, but because I’m sad about everything we had to go through to get here. I hate that we had to hurt each other so much before we found our way back. I love you. I love our little life, our stupid laughs, our plans, and knowing you’re the person…

You were my best friend for a large part of my adult life. Knowing you were at home is what helped bolster me against a lot of hardship in those years.

I miss your laugh. Your sense of humor. The joy you found in all your little hobbies. I miss being close to you.

Letting go of my best friend, to preserve what love…

I’ve started to realise that after every good moment, there always seems to be a bad one waiting. And today was the bad one. I smiled at you, and you gave me a blank look. Not just once. All day. And ****, it hurt. Because how can you look at me like I matter one day, then make me feel like I don’t exist the…

After everything that happened, even the parts you probably don't know about, I don't hate you. You spent eight years refusing to even look at me because of something you did and decided it was easier to push me away then to just talk to me. I know I had my part in it, but I don't think you realized, or just didn't…

I’ve removed you like 2-3x bc I hate how avoidant you are and tell myself I deserve someone who can give me the attention I want, but I always miss you. You literally told me you’re not good for my mental health, I guess there’s some truth to that after all.

After removing you the last time, I instantly regretted it so…

Babe when you get closer, I wanna run away

when you get farther, I wanna come your way

you make me feel loved, you make me feel trapped

you make me go fast, you make me go slow…

You may have been just as confused as I was, perhaps even more so. I'm just going to keep an open mind I guess. No reason not to anymore

glomps u

ur awesome sauce \^~\^

cmere let me luv u

I've spent so many nights in hotel rooms like that with you that the room itself has a connection to you. On the drive to meet someone, I caught myself imagining that it was you, the version I fell in love with. I would have been flying sky high, not just looking forward to a fun repeat experience.

Instead I walked…

I miss it so much, I miss looking forward to us hopping on hour long calls to talk about everything and nothing. I miss knowing about you, what’s going on. I miss telling you things first vise versa. I regret it, I regret that feelings got in between this friendship. I saw what happened Friday. You purposely lied to…

too smart

too pretty

and too creative

to not live up to my potential.

Karma is going bite you in the ***. I hope you know this, I know you’re a believer. Kinda sucks for you since you were so disgusting to me. I knew you were cheating on me, it sucked having that confirmation from you. Your replacement for me is a quarter of the person I am. I know you’ll always be searching for the…

Hey congrats on graduating, I know its been working on my self (so cringe to type that it burns). I would like to talk if u would be open to it. I took u seriously when u said I didn't take accountability, I did genuinely want u to see [REDACTED NAME OF DOG] I was extremely emotionally dysregulated. There was a lot of…

I’m aiming at my health again. Had an attack thrown my way which threw it off a bit. But if you know me then you know, not even my age shows any effects on me. So to kick this back into gear will be no problem. Especially if I think of all the times I was reminded by my loves that I have this magical bod of mine. Not…

How you been? I miss you still. It’s been a month since you blocked me. And I still think of you quite often. “She choose that other girl , she lost her chance” remember when you said that to me? It’s funny kuz you did the same damn thing.

You know I think not giving me an actual chance was foolish. Yes I understand…

I do hope we completely miss each other. Better than that is if you're not there.

But if you are, do not throw your tantrum when I don't acknowledge you. Don't speak to me. Don't wave or say hi! I won't see you or hear you. I'll be busy.

And please don't do what you always do and twist everything to cry foul. Be a man…

I’ve been writing letters to you at least once a week for a month.. the letters totaling to over 25 small sized journal pages.

I broke up with you and that’s the biggest regret I’ll have to live with. Our one year is coming up of our date and I so badly want to message you again. I want to give you all my letters and…

I sent that text to you a long time ago and I believe I kept my word. I held strong on the energy between us and I didn’t let it die. I believe there is something beautiful here. I believe there is something here that will never go away for either of us. I believe you are a beautiful soul. I believe you have a…

Thanks for that little nod.

I needed it tonight.

Tomorrow I am getting up early and taking care of business -- I'm going to Urgent Care.

I'm scared. I am going to show my feet, at my mom's urging, and get my medication…

I miss you so much. You've never bothered me. Ever. You're my favorite thing.

I don’t know how to “break up normally”. I wish you knew how sad I am. How I miss you. How it’s not all bad in my head. How I’m processing and crying all the time. I don’t know how to move through this with you. I wish you could see how you made me feel invisible sometimes. Or how undervalued I felt. And how I did try…

You are the only person that I have ever loved, and I’m sorry for placing that burden upon you.

Hey Bubba,

It’s been 34 days. I know I should’ve moved on by now, and honestly, I thought I had. I thought I was finally okay. But now that I’m alone with my thoughts again, I find myself missing you.

I miss the old you

The person I dated, the person I thought I knew. I miss your voice, even though I don’t get to hear it…

JP, I know this sounds crazy, but I think I love you.

I know I shouldn’t, I know that you said you weren’t looking for a relationship, but then you keep changing your mind and coming back to me. We’re in this casual/hookup dynamic that you initially didn’t want but changed your mind and decided you did. And I just want…

G,

What matters right now is that you’re reading this. For a while, I thought maybe I could keep talking into the void of this little corner of the universe.

But eventually, the silence got too loud.

And you came too close…

It’s freeing To not be bitter.

But instead thankful,

For what was. For what it is now.

Life is good. Love is everywhere…

How the hell does he get everything, I wanted in life? Everytime he ***** up a relationship, the ex always comes running back. I literally was in a relationship longer than him but I guess that’s just my luck. I’ll be sounding selfish for a second but I’m normally chill, but what the ****, I was supposed to be engaged…

JP, I know this sounds crazy, but I think I love you.

I know I shouldn’t, I know that you said you weren’t looking for a relationship, but then you keep changing your mind and coming back to me. We’re in this casual/hookup dynamic that you initially didn’t want but changed your mind and decided you did. And I just want…

i called and hung up, I couldnt take the eventual outcome of you manipulating me again. in the end, all you do is manipulate and use people. I mean for christs sake you have been hacking me for months. is it because I know all the weird things your up

to? im done with the emotional abuse, that’s what you did to me for…

I just feel like i really owe you an apology. Whenever you told me you thought it was big i just thought u were being nice. I never really thought it was big but its the only one I've seen irl. I know you said u couldn't take it all. I just thought it was stuff that women always said. They have all said to me. But i…

you’re deeply loved because you are you.

You know what? **** this. I am so ******* angry at you. I trusted you. After all those years, after everything we shared, after letting you back into my life and believing that you actually gave a **** about me, I trusted you. And apparently that was my mistake. You came back into my life, pulled me close, made me…

I know you probably won’t read this but I need to say it. I hate you for what you did, how you left, but I still love you. You said you were scared of leaving and thought over it for a weeks maybe even months. During that time I asked if you where okay, if we where okay, because you where growing distant. You lied…

admit it already? Why do we gotta drag our feet? Do I really need to ******* spell it out for you, really?? You know I'm not coming to you. I'm a stubborn *****. I won't run to anyone anymore... Make sure you make this worth my time spent.

It's in the palm of your hand now, baby

It's a yes, not a no or a maybe 😉

Come get…

because you ARE my drug. and my high school English teacher was right, drugs DO destroy dreams.

i experienced withdrawals from you. i have cravings. i wonder if it was really so bad. i rewrite history so that i remember you with rose colored glasses.

and then it passes. and i look at some of the things i wrote to myself…

Ikki,

I wish that when you had said this, I didn’t immediately get side tracked with my laundry. I wish you had brought this up again so that we could have actually done this. I remember you said you had a few in mind. I wish I had asked what they were.

It has been 6 years since we have spoken. How is it even possible…

When dude from California started spreading lies about me, you didn't bother to ask me for my side of things, you just melded into the false narrative, and decided all of our interactions, all of the warmth, the fondness, and heartfelt conversations about kids, dogs, exes, among many others were meaningless, and had…

what do I dooooooo about that

HOW DID IT EVEN HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEEE

it’s so on brand for me though honestly

falling in LOVE with some ******* PIXELS FROM GOD KNOWS WHERE…