Unsent Text Messages - Page 65

It's been years, yet around the same time each year, I remember everything that transpired in detail. Yes, I'm also to blame (I ignored my internal radar and soughted after curiosity.)

I'm ruined now because of you, and everyday I wish that you'd apologise. You decided to blow everything out of proportion, thinking…

reality is we never forgot anything that happened in our lives there is no such thing as escaping from whatever that had happened we just learned to accept and live with it because thats the only way we can survive and acceptance takes time

I still will. You know that. But you don’t want me and I just have to accept that. The hope of you loving me ***** me. And I miss you. Just come up to me and say something.

Seesaw

Can I ever leave?

You ascend, I think it's safe to unmount. But it's not, because even the slightest indication I'll swing my other leg over will send you into a plunge. So I find myself affixed to a relentless up and down cycle. Why can't we achieve balance? Maybe because I'm half your size but twice as patient…

Everything people spread about me- I can see how they would get that and run with it- but- there’s two sides to everything and the failure lies in not seeking out the shared truth on both sides. Then running with their preferred truth as fact-spreading it- feeding off people’s validation- falsely making themselves…

too smart

too pretty

and too creative

to not live up to my potential.

I just want to hold you.. I just want to hear your voice... I just want you to make me feel like im a part of your life, not just somebody who you run to when your life falls apart... id gladly be anything you want and need but you increasingly make me feel like im nothing more than a bother... maybe one day the woman…

good bye my love

I tried

😔

Hey,

I just have to tell you this now because you are so important to me.

We haven't seen each other for 4 years. 4 years. And in all this time you have remained my best friend to me. I carry so many memories of us with me and I was really happy to finally see you again.

When your refusal came and then not much, somehow…

Hello! Is this X? We brifely met a few months ago. You were so friendly, shook my hand and had a wonderful smile. It seemed like we had a lot in common, and it was so easy to talk to you, which is very rare for me. I wanted to ask for your number, but I got busy with the other person at work. You left, on your way out…

i didn’t want to i love you with all my heart but you keep hurting me and it’s ******* me goodbye my love

Just be cool you say. I try but you irritate me so bad. I have really messed my life up to center it around you. You center around everyone else except for me. You know exactly what you’re doing. At this point you can’t even be cool. You still have to make up some lame *** excuse to be a *****. Just be cool you say…

JKC,

I hope you’re a little easier on yourself today

Yesterday was a lot.

It really made you test your boundaries, self worth, identity, even sanity…

We were young and immature

We were growing and changing

We became two different people

We were at two different stages in life…

For months after u left i atill took break in our spot. I still do even now. I still look for your text everyday. Once u left i knew it wouldn't be much longer that we would be done too.

i told you. I told you from the beginning not to say things you don’t mean. But you said them anyway. And eventually i began to believe you. I believed you when you said i was the one you wanted all along. I believed jt when you said you wanted a life with me. That was so scary for me. No one ever loved me like you…

I don’t know how much more of this pain I can withstand. Every time I reached for you, each time- you ran away, kicking, screaming, livid with my audacity- calling me schizophrenic, bipolar, insane, to get help, to book myself a bed in the looney bin. Insulted my intelligence, made a joke of my confessions. Made me…

Honey i wish i hated you.. wish i could just delete you from every part of me. I want to forget how your hands felt on my cheeks or how you always said you loved the way i looked at you when i was in lala land thinking abt how much i loved you or wondering what was going on in your head. I just don’t get how you go…

You tore everything apart that day and I never got an apology. I never got any ounce of respect. I never got a glimpse to feel like everything is okay. Instead i’m worrying about you, apologizing on your behalf to everyone, telling everyone you aren’t doing okay… You know… I’m not doing okay and you won’t ever care…

Maybe it's that my pain matched yours, maybe it's the connection I felt to you a year ago. I can't look at you. I still have this stupid draw to you and I hate it. I still hope you'll find me.

You're mean to me, you told me you could never see us together. Maybe I just don't like rejection? I've been rejected before…

you once told me that you love me

you once told me to not look at other guys because you wanted me all for yourself

i didnt mind because i loved you alot to the point where i didnt even bother looking at other guys

funny after you left i still am not able to look at anyone because your impact was too strong and i miss…

In the end, I learned that loving you and having you were two different things and God, how I wish they weren’t.

know or understand why you think of me everyday. You poisoned everything we shared and tossed me like rubbish with your lies, betrayals, and disrespect. Forget about me. I don't wish to linger in your thoughts. You didn't deserve me when you had me fully and completely, and you don't deserve me in memory.

To be so in love, and so angry at the same time

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't stay and let you punish me by isolating and ghosting me for weeks on end. If I'd known...yeah I probably still would have come back. And somehow....Ren Faire was still worth it.

I'm sure you don't care. You probably moved on. I unblocked you...again. Not because I think you'd see this...no…

Hey Gurl…Hope your week is going well…miss talking to you. You are on my mind. I can feel that you’re hurting or something is off.

It’s funny how we cry the blues and point out the supposed wrong some else did and what not when we are doing the same behavior but with different twist.. momma use to say the dog with the loudest bark has something to hide

i used to laugh at your jokes, i used to love listening to all of rants and yaps about your favorite things. i used to like your rebellion. i used to like sitting in the car with you listening to all of the things you had to say and now i simply don’t. i rather be on my phone scrolling TikTok. i rather be at home in…

You're nothing like you used to be. WE have been nothing like we used to be for a LONG time.

And yet, quitting you is SO damn hard!

I did the right thing. The brave thing. I said goodbye to the dead "us". And now I'm just in SO much pain!

And for what? Who? You who cares about nothing and noone but yourself? You who…

It's not something you fabricate, it isn't something to be concocted carelessly. It isn't a creation we control, merely a force to be reckoned with and respected.

It's not an action or ability, it's alchemy.

That’s what you had said to me once . I was just looking at all the colored leaves on the river and saw one spinning , heard your voice in my head and thought , that’s me !

Everytime I think, today is the day I am just going to tell you how often I think about you, that I want to take you to that dinner you keep joking about. That my heart has pounded so hard everytime we make contact, when I walked in on you with your shirt off 2x in a row, something unnerves me. I don't know how to…

You interlocking toes with your lucky person. Congrats. You know I could've made you happy, right? Let's search through the universes and find the one where you want my toes instead. You've never stopped being gorgeous, Moony.

Hope you’re ready for the backlash. You crossed a ******* line.

They would reach out the instant they knew I was hurt to make amends. They would seek to soothe my pain and we would grow closer from the mending.

thanks for letting me know it was all fake. It hurt like **** figuring it all out after the break up, but makes things easier in the long run.

Thanks

When my heart and mind are in turmoil, all I can think about are the "what ifs." It drives me crazy. It gives me that same discomfort, same sense of dread as that one poem by Sylvia Plath does--Fig Tree. I probably think about that poem way too often.

Since it's gotten to the point where it's been unbearable to keep it…

All I want to do is message you after all this time, but I feel cruel if I do it. I put you through so much, and I am so sorry. I don't know if I miss you or I'm just lonely. I've been stalking your accounts even though I have the blocked, I read the old messages. **** I miss you. The urge to just ask you how you've…

I know I already apologized for how I have acted or hurt you but I feel the need to do it again.

I’m sorry for putting so much pressure on you for my emotional wellbeing

I’m sorry I wasn’t on top of my therapy and meds the way I should have been during our relationship

I’m sorry I yelled and said hurtful things to…

You'll never see this. Doubt you use this app. I'm just a loser, I guess. Probably for the best. Its nice to vent a bit.

You make me feel delusional. I feel like I pick up on some kind of "woops no I wasnt looking at you, but I sure was and I'll do it again" game we play. I just dont understand it. It's been a while…