Unsent Text Messages - Page 79

i hate that i still love you.

How could you do it knowing how much you have hurt me. Asking me to come over after all you have done. I told you i would never get back with you again after the divorce. I told you we would never speak again, only about the kids. Yet you still want to rope me in after cheating so many times. I hate the person you…

I remember a while ago you told me you watched the movie Carrie. I still haven't watched it but I watched the new miniseries that's out. I enjoyed it. Its got some good quotes and soundtrack too. Its very good overall. Carrie has some pretty cute fits. I hope you enjoy it too. I think you will.

You really should focus…

Hi mylove... It's so weird not seeing my favorite notification anymore, You.

6 days ago I couldn't imagine my life without you and that fear came true. You gave up on me, You promised me... You told me you'd marry me and have a grand life with me. No matter what life gives us or challenges we had to go through it'll be…

I'm sorry, this apology should have been given to you long ago but you stopped responding to me. I wish I never did that, we met when I was in a bad place and you made me feel important like I could actually be something and I was horrible. You were just amazing and I was young and dumb I made you feel horrible I was…

I think I need to stop writing about you on here. I thought somehow it would help me, that putting my feelings into words might make things easier, but the truth is, it doesn’t. If anything, it keeps me holding on to something I know I need to let go of. As painful as it is, I need to move on. That doesn’t change the…

I miss you so much. You've never bothered me. Ever. You're my favorite thing.

You asked me that out of nowhere the other day. While we were hanging out like we do all the time. The weird thing is that I knew exactly what you meant because it didn’t need any context. That’s the question that constantly lives between us. Not because we don’t want this, but because we’re still both so afraid that…

L,

I miss you, I think about you constantly, every little thing is a reminder to something we've done in the past, from little details in video games to the topics youd mention all the time. I can't watch certain shows without you on my mind, i can't even date without thinking about how i'd rather be with you. I…

Something completely stupid happened and my first thought was “I need to tell you this.”

Then I remembered I don't really get to do that anymore.

Which is such a weird thing to get used to.

I can go through an entire day without thinking about you and then some tiny thing will happen and suddenly you're right there again…

I'm not so sad anymore. I miss you 🩵 but I can look at the moon and hope you're not sad either. I remember when we had stopped talking before you told me that it hurt so much to look at moon so you stopped looking at it. There's no way you're going to keep your eyes away from the moon tonight. It's just as beautiful…

it just couldn't stand the shame of being in my own skin anymore. i know you know i always get like this. but did you know it's because i just realized how awful i am? and even though i'm not that awful anymore, i just ruin everything i build on a whim because i'm so embarrassed of myself?

I read our old texts when we starting talking.. it was so sweet. 🥹

I missed that version of us. Seeing how we were flirting and getting to know each other. It made me tear up. I wish we could go back to that. I would do anything to go back. I miss him so much. I’m trying to get over him and get through healing, but it…

Universal entanglement. That is the energy my soul is left wrestling with. The unintentional cruelty of your actions haunts my dreams. Knowing you had all the cards and played the perfect hand. Still, my light heart cannot hold resentment, and I'm left wondering why I was chosen to carry this weight of longing.

God. Uni…

There’s been an older man who follows me around and always says hi to me. At first I was nice to him when he casually said hi, but it became increasingly annoying so I tried to pretend that I didn’t hear him with my headphones. Then he would yell “hi n!!” At me, follow me into different areas of the gym. Yesterday he…

Do you know how frustrating it is that you keep telling me I'm "basically the best human being alive" and that "nobody deserves me" even though you chose to leave me?

I couldn't have made it any more clear that you are the one I want.

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, you wouldn't hate what you see so much.

I dreamt about you. You forgave me for the pain I caused you and allowed me to treat you softly and gently again, my sweet boy. We shared a bed again. Yet when I awoke in real life, I was alone. I’m crying again for the first time since we last spoke. Some moments I think I’m fine, I’m content with being single. I…

you’re deeply loved because you are you.

since we broke up. why are we still here? i have accepted that we cannot be together right now, although i did hope that you’d come back by now, telling me that we made a mistake by ending things and that you never want to lose me ever again.

oh well.

i’m okay though, i promise. i feel like myself again! been going on…

You'll never be his. He's everyones. In multiple cities and states. Get tested often. Please. AtM in AZ he has multiple women, kids, lives, if you're military stay the **** away.

JP, I know this sounds crazy, but I think I love you.

I know I shouldn’t, I know that you said you weren’t looking for a relationship, but then you keep changing your mind and coming back to me. We’re in this casual/hookup dynamic that you initially didn’t want but changed your mind and decided you did. And I just want…

I have PTSD. Like I actually lost my mind for a moment there, I’m not even exaggerating. This isn’t being over dramatic, I want you to really sit there for a second and re read this, do you even know how bad it got. All because I cared, about YOU. All because I wanted to be HEARD. All because I wanted to be SEEN. I…

I still wish I never left

You had so many months to reach out and to explain yourself… The limit has been exhausted. I erase you from my memory, existence, mind … like you never existed, unfortunately i will have also to erase myself, and bury… It was a very happy version of myself … It was dissipating in pain and tears for many months…

I keep remembering slices of our life from before things got bad. Even back then I saw the cracks, I just thought that either we could overcome them or I could continue to pretend they were fine. I resent you. I’m sure you resent me. But I keep thinking about the time when we were everything to each other.

Do you rememb…

Your demons are your own, and now they joined you in the grave. I tried to reach for you, you just never reached back.

You never heard that song? About shared experiences. About feeling so many of the same things. Harsh , zoomed it. What in the scamalama. I just tried to keep people happy, and attempted to start new things. I know I’m easy to hate, but we just peoples. I often say yes, when I should probably say no.

i'm getting really irritated at having to sit quietly and wait and be good while i'm having the worst crisis of my life and no one to talk to

J,

I know I caused it. I know this feeling is of my own doing. It's been 9 months since we talked. You are still on my mind constantly.

But I still miss you. I still want you.

I hate myself for hurting you. I hope you don't think about me. I hope you don't care anymore. I hope someone is loving you the way you deserve…

Sometimes You just.... appear in My quiet moments. ♥️

A thought..

A smile..

Something You said…

So this will be my unsent text I’m really sorry. I did all this to you even after saying, I love you hundred thousands of time. I still hurt you now. I can’t take it back now. I can’t do anything that will change the past or will change the fact that you were hurting and I was out there. I could have changed a lot of…

I thought we had finally reached our happily ever after.

Sadly,

I was wrong.

The monster has returned…

Look at all this ******** you created, lie after lie after lie. Every time I’ve made mistakes I have owned them and got better. Proved how capable, supporting, reassuring I was, how I pushed for you to experience new things and say yes to more. I spent so long talking you up.

In return you talked me down and made…

Not sure what we are or where this will go, but I’m really enjoying our time together and thankful for the excitement you have brought into my life. You are a really cool person and should be proud of yourself.

I never told you but that song made cry I think I’ve always cared for you I hate how I always self sabotage Can I never leave your side ever again it will **** it if I did I don’t think I would be able to breathe I’ve honestly grown with you and it’s so scary and I cry a lot even thinking my life without you.

As I lay here in bed in my truck and rub my neck from where I fell off of the truck last Christmas rushing to get to you I ask myself when do I get my happy ending? I gave you so much of myself that I can't get you out of me . No matter what I've tried. Did I ever mean anything to you? You just left me in the cold…

I LOVE metaphors. And today I thought of one that was sooo fitting.

We used to walk everywhere together, hand in hand. I’d pull you when I was feeling confident and you’d pull me when you were feeling insecure.

Usually though, almost always, you were feeling insecure. So you would pull my hand/arm in your direction to…

I literally melt when you look at me like that. That really soft gaze which you hold for a few seconds before slowly blinking and looking away. I feel like I have memorized it but I get butterflies whenever you look at me like that again.

You think that you're the only one who's been restraining their feelings since…

I still don’t know if you’ll ever see this. If you still check. I just hope you’re safe. I know in how much pain you are. Pain, I’ve caused you. All those months, hell, a year of suffering, because of my cowardice and selfishness. I really hope you’re reaching out to someone. I know I can’t be that person any more…

They say…. ( I always wonder who “they” are ) time is the best healer…

You have been more memories than you have been real life.

I almost wonder if I am starting to forget my memories of you.

I wonder how I’ll live without you with me every second of every day…